hair today

I had Ryan shave my head last night.

It might have been the bravest I’ve ever been, or the most foolish. I’m not sorry today, so I guess that seats me in the former category. It had been falling out in clumps and looking more and more thin and wiry every day, and I knew I had to make a decision.

It’s amazing how much hair a person has. I have (had?) thick hair and didn’t appreciate until now what that really meant.

I lost a lot of hair. It just seemed to keep coming, more and more every day. Every day, I hoped that somehow it would stop, because there’s just no way a person can lose that much hair, but by yesterday, there was almost no hair left on my head.

Yesterday was a low point for me, in a lot of ways, and waking up to find such huge patches missing didn’t improve my outlook. So last night, I told my husband to take it off. I was expecting tears on my part, but none would come. I was ready to let it go.

There’s something wonderful about knowing exactly what you’re doing and not being afraid. It’s strange, how natural a decision it was. When it was over, I ran my hand over my head, and realized that I was touching a part of my body I hadn’t really touched before.


9 thoughts on “hair today

  1. You are so brave. I’ve been following your beautiful family since i discovered you and ryan when you did your lost podcasts (loved them!).
    I have a question – hope it’s not rude or insensitive – i personally don’t know anyone who has had breast cancer, but recently saw that tv show Giulianne and Bill – where she had breast cancer and then a mastectomy. she did not do chemo afterwards – why did it seem so much “easier” for her? she had breast implants put in and from what they showed – she is ok now.
    I am sorry for what you are going through and wish you the best recovery possible

  2. You look good! And very brave; hair is very much a part of our identity. I’ve been wanting to cut mine, but being undecided where I want to be, I have refrained. I will take courage from this, and you.

    Hang in there, Jen! *hugs*

  3. Yet again you prove how brave you are. I’m so impressed by your bravery. My hair is my identity in a lot of ways and I cannot imagine having to go through that. You are amazing!

  4. Jen your bravery is inspiring! And your head is totally cute. I hope you get better every day that passes.

  5. Oh, my gosh! I absolutely love this look on you. What a gorgeous head. Who knew? You look like exactly like one of my UC Berkeley college girl neighbors who decided to go chic and easy at the same time some years ago. I would so do this if my head was as nicely shaped as yours! Seriously.

  6. My friend who had cancer did the same thing; she had a head shaving party after just a couple of chemo treatments. Every day you’re showing us how brave you are, Jen… I love the photo of you!


  7. You’re just as beautiful as you’ve always been. Also, maybe it’s just the glasses, but your eyes look blue. Or, maybe they are blue.

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