inarticulate

I’ve started to write so many times this last few weeks.  I’ve typed a few words, read them over in my head, not liked them, and abandoned them, over and over.

I’m about to finish week two of radiation and I haven’t even written about that yet.

It’s such a strange process.  The drive to the hospital (Hawaii Medical Center West in Ewa) takes longer than the actual treatment.  Luckily, there’s not that much traffic in the mornings when I go.  All told, I’m back home inside of an hour.  I would wonder if anything were happening at all during the treatments if it weren’t for the clicking and buzzing sounds the machine makes.  I’m told to expect some redness on my chest and neck, but so far, there is none.

I was so scared of the prospect of radiation.  And truly, when you think about it, it is scary.  I know that I grew up thinking that radiation was bad and created two-headed babies and other problems.  So opting to get doses of radiation voluntarily seemed counter-intuitive.  It’s surprising how anti-climactic it all is.  The worst part of the process for me is getting undressed and sitting around in a gown.

My eyebrows and eyelashes are back with a vengeance.  I think I missed them, but I kind of liked not having to wax, too.  It’s weird to think there are things about chemo that I might miss.  I will especially miss washing my bald head with a loofah in the shower.