I found myself in a plastic surgeon’s office on Thursday. I’ve decided to get reconstruction.
Radiation has limited my reconstruction options. That’s the bad news. One of the few options available to me is to have fat and muscle sucked out of my belly and put into my breast. In other words, I get liposuction and a boob job.
It’s going to be painful. It’s going to require a long hospital stay. It’s the only thing I can do, though, if I want to go this route. Patients who haven’t gotten radiation can opt for gradual reconstruction, using skin stretchers and implants of steadily increasing size. Radiation is still affecting my skin and it still may affect it for another year or so.
I found out that our insurance covers reconstruction. Meanwhile, our dental insurance only barely covers the oral surgery that Katie needs, which, oddly, I learned on the same day. We’ll pay nothing for a new breast, but we’ll pay a small fortune to have teeth taken out of her cute little face.
At the same time I get the surgery, they will lift the right breast so that it matches my new one.
I’m ashamed, honestly. I think I’m actually looking forward to this. I’m hopeful, and it’s all because I get new body parts. I must be shallow.
Jen's Cancer Blog 
Jen, I think you’re seeing the silver lining here! At least some physical self-improvement will come out of this, and it’s not just superficial. My friend at work who had breast cancer surgery years ago decided to have “work done” and went through similar thoughts of “this is silly/this is great”.
My only personal comparison (and it’s dental work!) was when I replaced one of my front teeth with an implant. It was injured, finally needed to be removed. First came braces at age 40, followed by several implant surgeries, months apart. (I was a tough case, apparently). At the end of it all, the braces straightened a gap in my bottom teeth, got the top ready for the implant, and the implant itself looks perfectly normal. So it was superficial, but also worth it.
Eye on the prize, long-term pay-off. You will feel awesome(r) coming out of this, right?
*hugs*
You’ve lost a body part. There’s absolutely nothing shallow about looking forward to fixing it if it will make you feel more like “you.”
I think I would feel the same way. Maybe it is shallow, but if it is, it’s a reasonable, understandable shallow. How we feel when we look in a mirror IS pretty shallow, but it’s a significant shallow.
My PS told me the recon u will have is the Cadillac of procedures. That was not an option for me so I had the Ford version and recently upgraded to the Honda. I’m happy with my results, so I’m thinking you should be too. Good luck with recovery but it’s going to be a positive time, so all worth it
Jen: You are the least shallow person I know. I’m sure you and Ryan have given this much thought. You have every right to want to look and feel “normal” again. I hope the surgery goes well and look forward to hearing about the procedure and your recovery in this wonderful, blow-by-blow, blog. Flat tummy, slim waistline and big boobs? We’ll be calling you the Hawaii Dolly Parton before long! My prayers are with you … and Katie too.
Of course you’re not shallow! Please, you of all people? Honestly, everyone would probably like some new and improved body parts!
It really sucks that insurance won’t pay for Katie’s surgery, but really good that it will pay for yours.
Jen,
I dont know if you remember, but my father commented on one of your posts, “grateful” a little more than a year ago. I don’t know if you’ve continued to follow his blog (http://jeffscancersite.wordpress.com) since then, but your upbeat attitude reminds me of my dad’s. Stay strong, and everything will work out.
Wishing you the best,
Stranger Jeff’s Son