I’ve spent the last few months being angry at my dad.
When he and my mom planned to come to visit in December, and he elected to stay home, it hurt me. I was convinced he was being selfish and he didn’t care about me.
He made it to Hawaii last week, with my mom, and for his troubles, he spent the week at Tripler hospital. He experienced some sort of illness on the flight over and was admitted the next day. I was only able to visit him once.
I’m angry at myself for wasting so much time being mad at him. I knew flying was difficult for him. Now, I don’t know if he can ever make the trip out here again. I feel guilty. I miss him and I’d do anything for just a few more minutes with him.
I’m hoping we can visit Florida in the next year or so. It’s probably the only way I can see him. I used to get so homesick. For years, all I wanted to do was move back to Florida so I could be close to my folks. It wore off quickly. Now I anticipate a trip back there with something next door to dread. Florida is a reminder of things past, not all of them good. I still have friends there, though, and just to see them again could make it worthwhile.
I had my annual echocardiogram today. Everything looks fine.